Only I

Psalm 39

I said, “I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, so long as the wicked are in my presence.”
I was mute and silent; I held my peace to no avail, and my distress grew worse.
    My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue:

“O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days;
    let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!  Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.
Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool!
I am mute; I do not open my mouth, for it is you who have done it.
Remove your stroke from me; I am spent by the hostility of your hand.
When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin,
you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath! 

“Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers.
Look away from me, that I may smile again, before I depart and am no more!”

Pay attention to this Psalm.  Your life is no longer than the width of your hand.  Human existence is but a breath.  Remember where your hope lies.  It lies not in money, which can be lost.  It lies not in a house; you’ve had and lost homes.  It lies not in husbands and sons, they also can disappear.  It does not lie in anything of this world.  Your only hope lies in me.  Only I am eternal.  Only I can save you.  Only I can redeem you and your life.  Only I can give you eternal life.  Only I can give you purpose and an effective life.  Stop trying to do this all on your own.  Get back to relying on me, to the knowledge that all comes from me, all depends on me, and that without me, all is worthless, useless.  You are too self-reliant.  How have you forgotten just how powerless and incapable you are without me?  Your pride is back in control.  Be rid of it or I will cause it to be smashed again.  That may sound cruel, but you already know, you have already experienced that true freedom, true strength, true peace and joy only come from relying totally on me.  (2003)