Numbers 20:1-5 In the first month of the year, the whole community of Israel arrived in the wilderness of Zin and camped at Kadesh. While they were there, Miriam died and was buried. There was no water for the people to drink at that place, so they rebelled against Moses and Aaron. The people blamed Moses and said, “If only we had died in the Lord’s presence with our brothers! Why have you brought the congregation of the Lord’s people into this wilderness to die, along with all our livestock? Why did you make us leave Egypt and bring us here to this terrible place? This land has no grain, no figs, no grapes, no pomegranates, and no water to drink!”
Ah, my children. No matter how many miracles you see, no matter how many times I prove to you that I love you and I will take care of you, no matter how many times you understand that my plan for you is the best plan for you – you doubt. You face some obstacle, some hardship, some withdrawal of the things you desire and you believe that I am not willing or able to care for you. Or, worse yet, you forget all together that I am even here, in all of what is happening in your lives. The Israelites – time and time again – were reminded by my actions that all that was occurring – their flight from the Egyptians, their miraculous delivery at the Red Sea, the pillar of light that led them, my protection of them, the supernatural provision of manna and other foods in the desert – all of this was my doing. Yet, here they are, again blaming Moses for the lack of food and water. Here they are, pitching a petulant fit (“If only we had died….!”) like toddlers when they are faced with hardship. Will you never learn? I am here. I am aware. I still love you. I will still care for you. Look to me. Look to me. Only me. Do not look to other men. Do not blame them. Look to me. Seek my guidance. Make your decisions based upon what you perceive me saying to you. Then, trust. Do your footwork and trust. Do not see hardship and occurrences around you as proof that I do not love you. That I will not care for you. That I do not cherish my children. I do. But loving you, caring for you, cherishing you – that does not guarantee an easy path. That does not guarantee a lack of obstacles, a life free from struggles, a life free from pain and sadness and loss and all of those things that occur in a fallen world. It means that I am sovereign over it all, and I can and will intercede where I know it is best for you. Just hold on. To me. I am never absent nor am I ever late. My actions and my timing are perfect. You just forget that. You allow your circumstances and your feelings to overshadow what you already know, what you have already experienced so many times – that I AM. Yesterday, today and tomorrow. I AM. I am for you. But in a perfect way, not in a way your mind can conceive. Will you trust? Let go? Allow me to work in a way that will be best for you? I allow you to choose.
Amanuensis 